If we had it all to do over again, we'd do things differently.
And we'd start with college.
Rather than major in the sort of liberal-arts/starving-artist nonsense that we chose when we were young, we'd choose something that, even if it didn't lead to an actual job, still taught us how to put food on the table.
Here's a look at the five food and beverage programs that we'd love to attend if only we could start anew.
5. HAMPSHIRE COLLEGE'S FARM CENTER
Photo credit: Flickr user lookcatalog
A few years ago, we spent a few days at a seminar series on the campus of Hampshire College in western Massachusetts. Or at least we were supposed to. In reality, we spent the majority of our time on the college's gorgeous, family-style farm.
With a small herd of dairy cows, a slew of chickens, some hogs and a classic red barn, the place looks much like any of the dozens of family-run dairy farms that still dot the Berkshires. Students at Hampshire work and study on the farm, learning the techniques of small-scale food production and animal husbandry.
It looks like paradise to us — but perhaps that's because we lived in a high-rise dorm in the Bronx back in the 70s.
4. UC-DAVIS' DEPARTMENT OF VITICULTURE AND ENOLOGY
Photo credit: Flickr user Prayitno
Presumably the first things students at this program have to learn is the meaning of the word enology. We'd never heard of the term (which refers to the science of wine and wine making) until we started researching the school.
It turns out that enology is a pretty hardcore subject area. A quick look at ongoing research at the campus' vineyard suggests that we may not be smart enough for this place. Here's hoping that the coursework at the University of Missouri's new teaching winery is more suited to folks of our limited scientific abilities.
3. CORNELL UNIVERSITY
Photo credit: Flickr user eflon
Cornell has a number of schools that are of interest to anyone considering the food business. There's the College of Agriculture and Life Sciences, the School of Hotel Administration, and the College of Human Ecology.
The good news is that Cornell is in the Ivy League, which means your degree would be a prestigious one. The bad news is that Cornell is in the Ivy League, and you need to be pretty bright to get in. We don't stand a chance.
2. ST. JOSEPH'S DEPARTMENT OF FOOD MARKETING
Photo credit: SJU undergraduate admissions
As far as we know, St. Joe's offers the only MBA on earth that focuses on the food-marketing business. There are also courses available for undergraduates.
St. Joe's, a Jesuit University based in Philadelphia, emphasizes the real-world experience of its teaching staff. So if anyone should hear of an open job there teaching food-business writing, drop us a line!
1. BOSTON UNIVERSITY'S MASTER OF LIBERAL ARTS IN GASTRONOMY
Photo credit: Flickr user Nano Anderson
As far as we're concerned, not only is this the best college program in the food space, it's the best college program of any kind on earth.
The program was co-founded by Jacques Pépin and Julia Child! Students can choose from among four areas of concentration, including communication.
And given that BU has a well-regarded communications program, our guess is that the MLA in Gastronomy with a concentration in communication would help you land a job writing about the food industry! Which is the coolest job in the world! Just a chance at a job like that makes the tuition worth it! And — wait a second — we already have that job.
So maybe we wouldn't actually do things differently if we had it all to do over again.
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